she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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