his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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