I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
