So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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