hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
