I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Let's get the cat blown out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
