I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
