either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
