its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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