Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
