8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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