dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
