If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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