He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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