I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
