dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
