I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
