Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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