Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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