Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
