And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
