When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
