haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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