I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
