I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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