you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
