Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
