Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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