youre lurking in front of me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
where does the pee come out of this thing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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