I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize