i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
