I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize