Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
