I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
