well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
