I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
