I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
