I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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