How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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