So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
