I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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