I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
