I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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