My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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