Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
