I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
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