'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
