: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
