I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
