I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
