Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
