I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
