so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
