My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
