Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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