i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
